hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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