How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
