Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
