Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
