This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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