i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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