we have pet lesbian snakes
Where is the hickey?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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