How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
birth control should be required to get into college
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
