office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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