I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
