sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
