so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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