I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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