My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
