May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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