in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
