At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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