He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize