now i know why i became what i already was.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
