Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
