I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize