bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
