But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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