And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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