i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
