so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is my gift to your gina
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
