so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
being pregnant is like rehab
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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