now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
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How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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