you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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