haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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