In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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