Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry about my life...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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