Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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