i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
