then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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