Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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