so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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