Me too!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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