he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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