remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
