Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
