yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I look better un-naked...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
