i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
