Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
