So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Be still, my beating vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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