The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
