i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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