I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
tell me about the eggs
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