you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
