She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize