Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
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Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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