I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
