Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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