I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
